Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bloodwork Found

No surprises. I made my husband call them and despite telling him that he should not call me at work...he did just that. Does this man even fucking care about me at all? Does he just not listen to anything I say? He knows I am an emotional person and how no one at work is aware of my "Adventures in IVF". Why would someone who supposedly loves you do something to hurt you even more? I just had a meltdown in the bathroom. Thank goodness no one was in there but people keep asking me if I am crying. At least it is allergy season and I can tell them someting bothered my eyes.

I still haven't decided if I want to make a WTF appt. I don't know if I can even handle the news. Crappy eggs + crappy sperm = "just adopt." What I do know is that I cannot put myself through all the traveling and all the secrecy and excuses at work if it is just going to be negative again. I just can't find a positive spin to our situation and I don't know how I am ever supposed to find happiness. I certainly don't expect to find it in my marriage and that is pretty fucking sad.


  1. hey you. I did a google search for your nest name and found your blog. Officially making me a stalker. I'm so sorry. We should talk. Off the boards and off the blogs. I can relate to some of what you're going through and I don't want to put it out searchable on google. Message me. Maybe it's even time for a GTG. Starbucks? :) Keep your chin up.

  2. I'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat as you and can relate to a lot of what you're going through. I have my WTF on May 7th and I'm not sure I want to go. I'm really sorry this cycle didn't work; it's so unfair (((hugs))).

  3. I'm so sorry cutie. You've been through hell, it sucks and is unfair.

    Please know I am thinking about you and sending you ((HUGS))


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