When I first started down the IVF path nearly 5 years ago, I was convinced I would be successful. I assumed it would be the 1st time but after that loss, I told myself that I would just keep going. I could get pregnant so I knew my body was capable. However, staying pregnant is something I just can't seem to do.
For a while, I fooled myself into thinking that donor egg was the way to go. We could come up with the money...and we could finance whatever was left. But there are no guarantees with donor egg. Not as many as with adoption.
This is nothing new...you knew this day was coming. You've been with me through the cycles and the struggles and the confusion about what to do next. And for the past few months, my sporadic posts have given you an idea about what's in store for us.
This is a whole new ballgame and we are so excited for the 1st pitch. I want to thank each and every one of you for the support and friendship over the past few years. I hope you'll continue to follow our story and stick with us as we pursue parenthood. I'll keep this blog open so people going through IVF can still benefit from my experiences. I'll even answer questions if I can. However, from now on, you will likely find me at my new home.
I have to say that I have an amazing group of friends that I never would have met if not for our struggles with infertility. These friends are supporting me and helping guide me in the adoption process and they have become very important to me. If there is a silver lining to any of this, it's that I have made some life long friends with whom I share a heartbreaking bond. I look forward to the day that they can be with me to celebrate H and I becoming parents.(They know who they are. ) For they are as much a part of this step as everything else and I know they want to see it happen almost as much as we do.
I've also gotten even closer to my family if that's possible...their support has never wavered.
To all my readers still in the battle: It is my sincere hope that you all get to hold your babies very soon. No matter how they come to you...I wish you peace, comfort and many blessings.
What the hell is going on, Niki?
3 weeks ago