Saturday, June 25, 2011

Weighing the options...

I did it. Another consult at yet another clinic. We're back to the local scene this the place where we probably should have begun our journey but who knew?

All in all, we both left feeling pretty good. Although we always do.(Yes, H broke down and came to the consult.) REs have a way of making you feel so great about your next plan of action. It's when it's over and they tell you that you fell on the wrong side of the odds...AGAIN that you start to wonder why you cycled again.

This Dr. K is a positive guy. I was "warned" by several people just how positive he is. I guess I expected that it would feel a little hokey but we really had the opposite experience. Dr. K is very big on the words you use and visualization. He buys into all the mind/body connection stuff like acupuncture and Mayan massage and yoga and support groups. It's kind of cool and honestly, if we are going to go through this again, I am going to need a cheerleader by my side reminding me to stay positive. His staff is just as upbeat as he is and it had such a different feel than any other place we have been. I expected the medical part to be a bit basic but they are actually doing a lot of the same stuff that the big clinics in NYC are doing and he was very knowledgeable about the extensive testing and protocols littering our charts.

So, as far as the technical stuff goes, Dr. K had even more tricks up his sleeve than some of my other REs. Here's what:(I sound like Andy Co.hen)

1. He wants to do a combo lap/hysteroscopy to see if I might have endo and it's always good practice to check a "polyp prone ute" like mine, especially after taking such a long break. Everyone has always attributed my pelvic pain to Crohn's related stuff but endo should be ruled out. I was going to ask for this anyway because it should be done if we are going to spend loads of money on eggs.

2. About the eggs: he gave us a 10% shot with my own eggs (OE) and a 50% shot with donor eggs (DE). Not great odds either way, really.

3. He has H taking clomid and HCG shots to maximize sperm quality. H mentioned that he wanted to take HCG shots for dietary reasons (it's like the hot new diet fad) and I told him no. Now he is all excited about it and thinks he will get really lean again. I just hope he doesn't get bitchy becasue clomid made me evil.

He also suggested a few non traditional things:

1. Me going to the monthly support group. Apparently, women who attend support groups have a higher birth rate. Who knew? That would have been kind of hard for me at the other clincs since it is a 3 hour drive...each way!

2. Continue with Acupuncture and Chinese herbs.

3. Mayan abdominal massage

4. Think positive!

The surgery is set to happen in about 2 weeks or so. Once we get the results of the findings we will decide how to proceed. I am leaning towards DE, H is leaning toward using my eggs one more time. Mostly based on finacncial reasons. We have some issues with some investements right now and he is reluctant to spend a chunk of cash on anything. I could probably get a small portion of a cycle with my eggs covered by insurance and it would end up being pretty cheap since this place has the rep of being ultra affordable. It might buy us some time too, but at what cost to my body, mind and self esteem ? See why I'm confused?

I would love to hear what you all think. I have already reached out to a few of my friends who have been through it all and have made it to the other side and I have gotten such great advice but it doesn't hurt to get all the opinions you can :)

Thanks for reading my latest novel!


  1. Hi, I was given even more dismal odds using my own eggs (about 2-5% one dr. told us maybe up to 10% but it was a long shot) and 50% using DE. We chose the DE option and I am now pregnant! Ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you and your family. It wasn't an easy decision for us to come to, but we are thrilled about the results.
    So glad you found an RE who seems to be a good fit for you - we went to 3 before we were happy with our Dr. It makes such a huge difference (and it helped that he offered a discount for cash paying patients!)
    Good luck with your decision and moving forward!

  2. I wish I could give advice but every decision relating to IF/ family building is so personal and individualized...which makes it so hard!! I am happy you are going to a new clinic with an RE you feel comfortable with and wish you all the best in making (yet another) big decision!

  3. G, glad you went there, glad it was a good experience, glad K came with you.

    If you need a local acupuncturist I have an amazing woman who works out of the healing center above the clinic you consulted at. I loved her. It took me 4 acus before I found her and she's the best.

    As for what to do, I agree with K, but not because of the financial end of things (although, if you have part covered by insurance, and considering that clinic is dirt cheap to begin with...) but because I think you owe it to yourself to try one last time. You can get pregnant with your own eggs. We just need a sticky baby now. And I think you need to have closure with it. Put it in writing. One cycle my eggs, then DE. Done. End of story.

    And I think the support groups are a great idea. Online peeps are great to an end. But real people, in person. And real clinicians. Well, I think it will be good for you.

    Come over and hang out and give me the larger scoop soon. xoxo

  4. I think all things considered, I would try your own eggs one more time before moving to Donor. Either way, good luck.


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