It looks like we are ready to start figuring some things out. I needed a break from everything for a while. Blogs, boards, accupuncture, etc. For my mental health and for my relationship with my husband. I was too obsessed with researching and playing the "what if" game. What if we need DE....what if we need DS...or are donor ebmryos or adoption our only choices? I was driving myself crazy guessing what the Drs. might find out. I stopped posting on the message boards and I totally blew off my blogging. I have been flailing a bit but I did enjoy my vacation last month. Why can't I just pack up my life and move to the beach?
Yet, try as I did not to think about my failures and losses and what our next steps would be....it was all right there in the back of my mind. Appts. were made and surgeries were performed. My hysteroscopy resulted in the removal of a polyp and a whole lotta scar tissue from the D & C last year. Why didn't I have this done before the last IVF? What a colossal waste of money,huh?
H has a Uro appt. next week and that's where the scary stuff comes into play. We recently found out that his sperm are fragmented (15%) and my RE thinks that might be why we don't have a baby yet. Funny how I kept asking the REs if we had a shot because his sperm quality was so bad and they kept telling me it was my age. Sure...my FSH is 7.1 and my H's is 22 but whatever.
Right now I am scared and praying that we can move forward without DS. H is not in favor of using DS and it would probably mean the end of the road for us.
Anyway, it feels good to get this off my chest. Thanks so much for listening.....
I met my second husband online. No really.
1 year ago