F day is here......

That's Flo as in "Flo is in town". Yup, my period is here. It's never a good thing..... In a nutshell,this month, it means that I am not the beneficiary of some infertility miracle and that I need to start preparing for my next IVF cycle. The period is where it all starts.

From my last post, you might remember that I am starting with a new clinic. My 1st step it to have another HSG(dye up the lady parts)to check my uterus for polyps and possible scar tissue from my D&C. If we are all clear, I can move onto my 5th IVF cycle in February. Please keep me in your thoughts, I can't afford to have another setback. I'll be 39 in 6 weeks and I think my eggs will be about 42! A surgery will just put things off for a month or 2 and I am working against the clock. Sometimes I feel like Jack Bauer.

I have incorporated some lifestyle changes (thanks to the book Making Babies) and I am feeling really healthy and positive (talk to me once I start shooting up and I may feel less hopeful)There is just so much riding on every cycle. I'm not only talking about the price of the IVF cycle and the meds.....We have to travel 3 hours each way to the RE and sometimes get a hotel, it's an emotional roller coaster. Not to mention, I could be doing real damage to my body by trying to grow so many eggs cycle after cycle. Each time we fail, it becomes more apparent that I may never be a mommy. At what point do we call it quits? We've come this far. It's so overwhelming at times. Nothing in my life has ever come easy.(I married a man who shares the same burden, so we are a match made in Heaven)I'm hoping that I'll end up with a miracle at the last minute like I have so many times in my past. I don't know what's keeping me going other than that. I just hope that I am up for this adventure-again.