I bought a compact mirror in my 20s. I still have that mirror. There is a border when I open the mirror that reads "GLAMOUR GIRL". Cute,right? That was long before I realized life might not always be so glamorous. ( I had a good job, car and apartment and a discount at a womens clothing store! I was so young and imagined that life could only get better.)
Fast forward about 14 years. I met the man of my dreams (cliche but the best description) and what I have been going through is anything but glamorous. (Hence, the blog title. I so love sarcasm.) Thank goodness he didn't marry me for my glam status. Shooting up,(hormones NOT heroin) being so bloated that I have 3 pants sizes in my closet (and a Bella Band thanks to a failed pregnancy at 10 weeks) not to mention my relationship with the dildo cam. (Every IVFers least favorite part. The very 1st time I was asked to get underessed on day 2 of my period so the Tech could perform the ultrasound, I panicked and stammered: "Um, I have my period though!" Yeah, that was the point but who knew?!) I've been through every test there is and while having dye and water shot up your "lady business" sounds like a kinky game, it's really part of 2 VERY unglamorous yet necessary fertility tests.
Many people may ask why a blog? Why now? If you read my profile, you would know that I have already been through 4 IVF cycles. Why all of a sudden do I want to bore you with my details? While I am hoping and praying for a positive outcome on my next cycle, the very real prospect of that not happening is looming. (I'll be another year older in March) I need to make some sense of it all. Writing has always been theraputic for me but maybe I'm meant to be there for others. Maybe I will inspire you or answer some question you were afraid to ask or maybe I'll just make you laugh on a day when you need it. Maybe you, dear reader, will help me get through this next cycle. There are days when I am going to vent and days when I am going to be completely sarcastic or pissed (pg 13 rating at best). There are days when I will be blissfully happy and days when I may need a shoulder to cry on. More about my history in the next post.
I hope you'll join me. I promise to give you all the unglamorous details in the most glamorous way possible. I mean, I never leave home without my lipstick, handbag or the perfect shoe!
Thanks for reading!
I have moved
10 months ago