Not my happy ending....

IVF # 7 did not go down like I had hoped. Obviously, that means I am not pg. I'm ok. Sure, I'm sad but I'm so tired of this life. For nearly 4 years I have lived and breathed IVF. I have been living in a constant state of longing and I deserve better than that,so does my husband. We tried everything in our power to make this work and it's time to stop.

I don't know if we'll pursue DE-it really depends on the wait and if H and I decide we can handle it. The financial commitment is huge and I'm not sure I could handle a failure with someone else's eggs. If there is one thing this journey has taught me it's that there are no guarantees.

Tonight, I am going to eat the majority of a pan of brownies with frosting and tomorrow morning I'll start working out hardcore again. I may never be a Mom but at least I can look good.