The brighter side of things

This is not a journey you want to take...this never ending cycle of hope and loss and despair and pain. It takes a toll on every area of your life....especially your personal relationships. You pull away from people...especially people who cannot be supportive. I have had lots of trouble with comments from my ILs lately but I am dealing.

Part of what gets me through the tough times is the support of my friends on The Bump. These strangers know what I am going through and they are there to listen to me whine and to offer support and hopefully, they can see that I am there for them as well. We share our knowledge and support each other through good and bad times. I have wonderful family and friends who try to understand but these courageous, strong,amazing women are walking in the same shoes as me. Many of them have even become dear friends.

I had the chance to meet a small group of our community yesterday and it was so great to connect in person. I have "known" some of these women for 3 + years and being able to give them real hugs instead of virtual ((((hugs))) was a privilege. It was a great day in spite of the fact that I ended up falling on my hands and knees...turtle style in the middle of Fashion Ave. in NYC. Thank goodness for good Samaritans like the lady and her daughter who didn't want to leave me and the man who rubbed my back.

I am thankful that there is a place for women like us and that we have each other. Hugs to all my friends and thank you for everything. I am honored to be trapped on IF island with such fantastic women. I hope we all get to leave very soon.

Back from Hiatus

Hi all-

I've taken a little time off but I'm ready to start blogging with regularity again.

DH & I were trying a little experiment..... We were trying out child free living to see if we could survive it. We don't want to live CF but it may be our reality. We decided to stop all treatments for a couple of months and to stop talking about even having children. We have just been enjoying each other and enjoying life. We have been connecting with old friends again and we have done some traveling. Fun traveling....not traveling for fertility treatments. It's been great but we both still feel like there is something missing.

I'm ready to start moving towards the DE process but H is not quite there. He keep telling me that he'll buy me some eggs but when I try to get him to commit to an appt. day and time, he won't answer. I'm working on him and hoping to convince him very soon. If you can spare any positive vibes I could use some.

So much has happened since my last post! I turned 40...we have a new nephew....Charlie Sheen lost his mind(but he is winning. duh.)The world is still spinning but I still feel stuck.

Thanks for reading! I'll be in touch :)