Home Sweet Home (but not for long)

I got to relax for about 2 hours before the next crisis presented itself.

I didn't eat dinner so I had a yogurt around 9 with my pain pill. I was peeing like a champ up until then. I am not sure why but the next time I tried, I couldn't go. I tried everything: pushing, getting into the shower and running warm water over my bladder.I don't know if it was the yogurt or the fact that my bladder was lazy from relying on the catheter for too long. Maybe it was the fact that I clogged my pipes by drinking about 32 oz. of water in the past few hours in the hopes of clearing out my bladder but good. Whatever it was, it caused my stomach to lock up and I couldn't do anything. Then, the gas started building up....right up to my shoulders. Now, this was the gas I was warned about. At least I thought so until the pain got so severe that I was convinced I was dying from a burst bladder and going septic. My deep yoga breathing couldn't touch the pain so I was convinced my organs were damaged beyond repair. I got dizzy and almost passed out from the pain.

I screamed for H (several times because the TV was too loud or he was sleeping...this has yet to be determined)to call 911. I hardly had a voice and when he asked why he couldn't just drive me I think I would have throat punched him if I could reach or if I have any strength. The last thing I wanted to do was alert the neighbors to my latest health issue but he now knows if I ask him to call 911, it is dead effing serious.

The paramedics were 1st on the scene...they calmed me down a little and gave me some oxygen since I was clearly (to them) in the midst of a major panic attack. Then, the fireman came -they were so helpful.....they covered me with a towel because my dress was up and my ass was hanging out. I really did not care who was seeing what. The pain was like pain I had never felt before and all modesty flew out the window. The ambulance arrived last. If I was having a heart attack or if my organs did burst, It would have been too late. Uh, it took 15 minutes.

All 3 sets of workers asked me the same questions...what did I have done....when did the pain start.....I had to repeat my story 5 times. I get it...they are all trying to do their jobs but what made me angry was the comments: "Didn't they tell you to expect gas pain when you had the procedure?" "That's really common with laproscopic surgery." And the looks that they all shared when I told them I had a lap! At one point I said" Listen, I didn't call you because I have gas. They bruised my bladder and I can't pee and I am afraid my bladder is going to burst".

It was like talking to a brick wall.

And it wasn't any better when we arrived at the ER. It was Friday night and I believe it was a full moon. It took forever to get a room and while we were waiting in the hallway on a stretcher we got to watch a police officer interview an 8 year old who was just molested. There were people in and out of that room H was directing traffic. It was so sad. I just wanted to take her home with me. The irony did not escape me. A little girl's mother lets her boyfriend molest her while I laid there in excruciating pain fresh from having a painful surgery that would (hopefully) get me one step closer to being a mother.

When I finally got a room, a nurse cathed me ( but not before I got the speech about how you get bad gas whenever you have laparoscopic surgery.) Sweet relief. She left the room as I filled up the bag and she wasn't gone for long. Even she was surprised that she had to change the bag before we had an accident. Then she started being a lot nicer to me.

***Bitch Alert***

I know there are probably people out there who abuse 911 and the ER but I know my body and something was very wrong. It pisses me off when I have to pay the price in shitty care for the hypochondria or entitlement of others.

***Bitching over***

I had the catheter in all weekend. I was really looking forward to sitting in the sun all weekend and reading a book or two but how could I do that? There is nowhere to hide a cath bag in my tankini and I sure didn't want to walk around with a bag full of boiled bloody urine. I won't gross you out with the details of my mishaps with the uh maintenance issues....although some of it was hilarious.

I finally stopped peeing blood Sunday afternoon and the nurse at the clinic removed the cath for me on Monday. I'm peeing like it's my job and the gas is gone. My Acupuncturist took care of the rest of it on Tuesday.

I now have a new type of Dr. to add to the ever growing list of Specialists, though. I saw a Urologist today. I thought that was only for men but we all have urethra,right? She did a few tests and told me my bladder was fine. Whew.

The only ending that could be happier is if I finally get knocked up!