Infertility Tug- O- War

I have played this game before with Drs. When my CD was really bad. The surgeon claimed I did not have Crohn's but the Gastro said it couldn't be anything but that. Finally, my NYC Gastrointestinal Dream Team diagnosed me with Crohn's, came up with a treatment plan and I am in remission. I'm not so lucky on the infertility front.

We saw the Urologist yesterday. He seems to think that H was born with his fragmented sperm. It has nothing to do with the vericocele and there is really no way to fix it. He said that it will decrease our chances in any given IVF cycle but only by about 2-4%...not 10%. I need every damn % I can get! This was my worst case scenario. He suggested that if we were trying to decide btwn. DE and DS, we should buy some eggies. MY RE feels the opposite. He thinks there is no reason why I shouldn't have had sucess by now based on my hormone levels and how I respond to the drugs.

So, I am torn between 2 Drs. feelin like a fool. Yes, I said "I". H is about ready to stop everything. He wants no part of the donor process. He also wants nothing to do with adoption. If it costs too much money...he's out. All he keeps saying is "Everyone else can just have sex and have a kid for free. I'm not spending any more money". (A direct quote,BTW.)Well, you can't and if you want a baby you are going to have to dig deep. I am willing to do anything. He has limits. This is not going to end well....


Why can't I just have a diagnosis and move on? Why the F does everything health related in my life have to be so complicated? Here we are ...needing to make a really tough decision. (If I can get H to see my way.) Try again with our own parts, DS or DE. How can we possibly know which way to go? Especially when 2 different experts.....top in their field....are giving us conflicting answers! FML.