My wallet is my pacifer......

I have seriously got to stop this. I hardly spent any money at Christmas but now that everything is on sale....I have become a glutton. I have Christmas cards and wrapping paper to last me a lifetime and more ornaments than my 2 trees can hold. I bought more body lotions & sprays from B&BW than I can ever use...I may have to start eating them if food and gas prices keep going up. I also have plug in air fresheners in just about every scent there is...I'll have to buy another house to use them all. I have a whole new wardrobe, too. I keep telling myself that I am saving money in the long run but after paying my monthly credit card bill, I can see that I have spent a lot more than usual.

It doesn't take a psychotherapist to tell me that I am trying to make myself feel better with "things" because I can't have what I want most. Christmas was a little harder on me than I want to admit.... 2011 is also the year I turn 40..... in less than 2 months, as a matter of fact. A baby does not seem like such an attainable goal anymore. It's like I am on a boat...headed out to sea. The shoreline just keeps getting smaller and smaller and farther away. I know it's still there, but it's too far away to swim to. Getting there will be harder and it will take longer.

The sad part is...I am supposed to be watching my spending in case we do another cycle.....or move on to DE. I'll just have to be good starting now. I don't want to rack up any credit card debt. In the meantime, me and my house smell fabulous and I have a new outfit for any occasion. I better find a new hobby.....